The Coach: what is so special about it !
We all want to be successful in all aspects of life, we need a good health, abundance of wealth, a joyous life and quite often than not we see a lot of motivational movies or clips and yet we see not much changes.
What if Mark Zuckerberg was your business partner and you both are discussing the next development in FB? Or Mr Ambani was your business partner?
What if your spiritual guru was Dalai Lama, a big name in the world who will guide you on how to have abundance of peace and prosperity in your life
What if your health advisor in gym was Salman Khan and he guides you on what to have for diet and work out a plan for daily exercise for you?
Quite surprised I am sure, but there is one thing that I would like to highlight here, what makes this name so famous and popular, ofcourse they are successful in their areas of work. But there is one more thing that makes them extraordinary.
One word : Habits!
All the people who are successful in life have one thing in common. They have a plan, a clear goal and a daily routine that makes them successful as compared to others, of course a will power is also there, but let me ask, we also have the will power for success, most of us wants to be successful and need abundance and peace and prosperity and we also know the steps for the same.
So when we know this simple rules that makes us successful and infact we also start some times after getting charged and motivated but then 90% people quit after the first failure.
So does habits alone makes you successful, does having clear goals and action plan makes you successful does it guarantee success.
Don’t get me wrong these aspects are necessary but there is a small thing which we have ignored looking at
If you go through the biggest success stories around the world, there is a common factor for all of them to be successful and that is every one had a coach. Yes every one had a coach
So why is it so Important for us to understand the importance of Coaches
Look around, we have a huge competition around us all the time and we are constantly thriving for becoming better every day, if we don’t we will be vanished completely.
Sachin Tendulkar doesn’t need an Introduction and he gives his success credit to his coach. Mark Z and for that matter even Mr Ambani has coaches that guide them from time and again on the need, the best one is even our PM has coaches which give him ideas strategies and methods for approaching different problems.
People in the Fashion, Film, Sports every one understands the need of a coach and hence the one with coaches are more successful than the one without one.
So what is coaching all about?
Is it about answering questions, is it about giving the right solutions? Is it about showing the right path.
No, Coaching is beyond that: The first basic aspect the coach needs is the ability to question.. Simply questions
I have met many coaches that listen half of your story, empathize and then immediately give solutions
Does that work? Yes but for a short time, it works like the drugs, high for some time and then back to square one
There are five rules that I have understood apart from the right questioning that a coach needs to posses. They are
1. The ability to ask questions:
One of the finest qualities of a coach is to ask questions to the clients and ask questions which are direct and has a sharp response, you don’t have to be nice sugar coated in questions. The role of a coach is to first find the core of the problem
If the client procrastinate something, not necessary its because of lack of motivation or clear goals, the coach needs to ask the questions right to find the right answers.
2. Sharp Listening Skills:
Sharp listening skills is one word, show interest while listening with a mindset to understand the problem first, quite often than not one of the areas many coaches fail are when they don’t pay full attention.
Too often we listen with impatience and a lack of attentiveness, which in turn hampers dialogue. We are focused on our next argument or our own agenda. Be genuinely curious. Don’t do all the talking, and keep interruptions to a minimum. Pace the conversation, and don’t be afraid to keep it focused and on-target.
3. Read the Body Language:
Nonverbal cues help in understanding what is the other person trying to say really, Words contribute to merely 7% of the whole communication and the remaining is nonverbal. Hence its very crucial for a coach to have a good command over the nonverbal gestures and he/ she should read between the lines for what is the message all about
4. Respond with Accuracy
Read between the lines also follows with accuracy. Clarify the communication channel and you will see a brighter side to the whole conversation.
Reflecting back with accuracy shows the person you’re really listening and confirms that you have digested the right information. It also allows the person to hear back what he or she has said and to check within him or herself: Is it exactly what he or she meant to say?
You can reflect back by simply rephrasing or through asking for questions for explanation
5. Provide Feedback
Feedback giving is often one of the most crucial skills to have. As a coach you need to be very clear about the feedback that you give. One of the principles to learn from one of the Management books talks about giving a feedback in very simple three way format
1) Tell the person where he / she is going wrong
2) Tell them how you feel about it
3) Tell them what they are worth of
Followed by this a simple step that says: What will be your next action plan.
The successful coach avoids the common mistake of using feedback as a vehicle for asserting expertise. Unclear, arrogant, or dismissive feedback can drive your clients/ employees into defensiveness and destroy the trust so critical to your relationship.
When providing feedback, coaches should strive to make it clear, make it relevant, make it non-evaluative, make it helpful, and make it positive.
If you listen, reflect, question, and provide the right feedback, you can easily build trust in the coaching relationship